“Oh you poor
fu**ing bas***d!”
Please
pardon my French but you will agree that that now is a very relevant and
succinct phrase that captures the essence of being a new father. If you thought
that the last nine months were a trial, then you better buy yourself an extra-large
serving of patience. To make it easy for everyone, I am going to divide this
post into very manageable pieces
Oh so cute! - Now that is the first thought that
comes to anyone’s mind while looking at any baby. Ya ya I know he/she is your
precious and no other kid can come close yada yada… but isn’t that what every
parent thinks?
Black and white - Once the show off period is over
(you know what I mean. Relatives, friends, the mandatory Johnson’s baby gift
pack, pics on your blog and Facebook and so on) things begin to get nastyJ. Black, dark green, yellow, semi-solid,
viscous… You get the picture? No??? Well that’s what you need to go through if
you need your diaper changing certificate! What’s white you ask? Now that is
what I call the curd like stuff that is regurgitated
Lights out=Nights out! – Lots of bottles, lots of noise, frantic
searching, pulling and wrapping but it not your party!
Bottles and more – this probably is what they meant
when they said ‘the road to hell is paved with good intentions’. Imagine this. Its
10 PM and after a long day at work (who are you kidding?) you just want to
watch the highlights of the test match with a bottle of something. And then it happens.
The exact means is hard to nail down but in the end you find yourself looking at
a line of unwashed feeding bottles. Oh that’s not half of it…the worst part is
the sterilization. If you haven’t done it, you don’t know what I mean.
Do I look fat? – Normally, that
question will make any man pause the T.V in his head and take notice of where
he is and what’s around him. But post pregnancy, that question is an invitation
to commit harakiri. There is no right answer to that question because something
or the other doesn’t fit!
And this is just the
beginning…
P.S: I did do all the above and feel that it’s good
to be involved with your kid right from day one. Nothing can replace the joy of
being smiled at and hugged by little hands. But who says that I can’t crib
about all the work?
